I Cry With You

My 16 year old has a learning disability. She's bright and beautiful and so full of life and fun. A sophmore, they all laughed at her when she failed her drivers ed test.

She cries to me and my heart clenches. Impotent to help. Her path will be difficult but she is bright and beautiful and so full of life and fun.

I lift her to you oh God, my daughter and yours, see how you created her, bright and beautiful, so full of life and fun.

I have a 21 year old daughter who has decided I'm not worth having a relationship with. I can hardly process the information it is so foreign to me. I guess I feel thrown away. It conflicts with my concept of unconditional love.

I'm 21 now, and what you gave me has no value. Thrown away, tossed out, minimized. I tried so hard.


Faulty, yet forgiven by God, I pray always for the gift of forgiveness and unconditional love. Not that I would receive them, but give them.

She's beautiful, I hope she comes back, it's been a few months.

Inauguration Day

Obama is finally president. Chief justice screwed up the oath, Michelle wore an outfit that I won't opine on but it clearly was not warm enough for the occcasion. Teddy had siezures during lunch and it looks like night is drawing nigh even though the parade is not nearly over with.

The poet wasn't particularly inspiring and the closing benediction was ridiculous and racist and my thought was, wow, they are still complaining after a black becomes president. Then I heard a news commentary on it which confirmed what I was thinking.

Otherwise, a peaceful transition of power with current, new, and former presidents shaking hands and greeting each other and it makes you proud to be an American. GBUSA

Everything began and ended with prayer which makes me laugh at the people who insist there is no room for God in government. They are saying that this is the most populist president since Roosevelt! It will be interesting to see how fast Obama gets grey. Has anyone else noticed that he has gotten more grey just throughout the campaign?

Also, Michelle couldn't stop holding his hand while they walked the parade route, If she let go to waive, her arm stretched over her body to continue holding his hand. I wondered what that was about.

It's Not As Simple As It Seems

Calling and texting long distance is not as simple as one might think. So Christine, if you read this, I need detailed instructions on how to call or text you. For instance, with the pointer finger of your dominant hand, press____(blank) then continue in similar fashion with the following sequence.

On the outside chance that I still can't get it, Liz is doing just great, spending the night alone at Spectrum and typically post drug induced crabby. She has a shorter cast on but by no means smaller. It is twice as big around. She does not need me there which can leave me feeling relieved and guilty that I am feeling relieved all at the same time. Go figure. GBUSA

I Feel How I Feel, How Do I Feel?

I know one thing, that it is killing me to not be able to text her and find out how she is doing. My daughter Christine that is, who left today for South Africa. Is everything ok? I would ask, where in the sky are you now? Are you still anxious? Can I make anything better for you?

I heard something today...that you had no arrangement waiting for you at the airport. IS THAT TRUE? It fills me with something, it is in my stomach. I don't know if I can't tell what it fills me with or if I am afraid to look. I'm imagining, getting off the plane, completely alone, bewildered. But then, I am imagining because, of one thing I am fairly certain, that you are not bewildered.

There was also crying today. Not crying, sobbing, deep grief. It shocked me frankly because I don't think I have those feelings. Oh not so much this particular situation, but in general. I'm afraid to feel those things. So it took me by surprise, first her Father, wracking sobs, then Margaret, and Liz.

I wanted to work in my office and I thought it might be a little escapist while my family felt their awful feelings upstairs. But I had purchased a movie today, I never do, and Margs, Liz, and I watched it. To honor Christine.